Hope’s Voice מקווה

“And now, Lord, what do I wait for? My hope is in You.” Psalms 39:7

“O Israel, hope in the LORD; For with the LORD there is mercy, And with Him is abundant redemption.” Psalms 130:7

Last summer I was serving in the Dominican Republic as an Intern Missionary for four weeks. I had never before been on a missions trip. This was the first time i had ever been involved in missions. My first time being out of the country, for more than a week.(Vacation in Mexico for 10 days doesn’t compare.. Lol)

There were four main missionaries. Eleven total Intern Missionaries. One of which was my older brother Jared and another was Tiffany, a friend of ours from church. The three of us flew there and interned together. Besides all of us, each week we served along side a missions team for either 7 or 10 days. There were any where from 8-25 people on each team.

We arrived in the DR at around 10pm or so. Way scarier than i had anticipated. Not only did we fly out at 6am in the dark but we arrived there at 10pm in the dark. I had just flown into a country at night that i honestly, at the time, couldn’t even point out on a map! I pretty much had no clue where i was, what I was getting my self into, what God thought He was doing, or why on earth I actually went along with this all. I really only knew the two Intern Missionary Leaders, and barely at that.

The bus ride from the airport to the missionaries house/appartmens was strange. It was so dark you couldn’t see anything, not the roads, houses, or even other cars. When we got to the house we grabbed out luggage and headed up stairs to our intern apartments. The electricity was out. So we had to unpack and get situated in our new home by flashlight. As soon as i had everything set I went straight to bed. I was in this total funk.

I had been flying all day, which I really don’t like to do. I barely knew anyone. I can’t speak spanish, which is that nations language. It was pitch dark when we got there. I had no clue where I was. You could feel the humidity already just on the plane from Miami to the DR! There was limited power and water.. Which meant little phone and Internet access with my family. And limited showers. Freezing Cold, five minute military showers. Haha (That wasn’t so fun at the time.. Lol)

I seriously prayed the whole time, up until i was able to fall asleep. I wanted to go home already, and stronger than that i knew I was called to stay.

I woke up the next morning to sun shine, thank God! I went and sat out on the balcony of the apartment. I needed so badly just be able to see where i was. It was so much nicer knowing what this place looked like! I woke up an extra hour early every morning so i could sit out there and read my Bible and pray. That first morning I kept telling God; I know I’m here for a reason. I just need You to make that reason as obvious as possible.

The Lord came through for me each and everyday in some way. He was always up to something.

That first week was hard for me. I knew I was feeling homesick. Everyone I’m sure, could tell. Even though God was doing great things. Even though I was having the best time with all the beautiful children at the orphanage, It was still so hard in between all that.

I was 16. My first time away from my mom, my best friend, for more than 10 days or so. Of course i was home sick. It was a scary place.

I’m so thankful that i had enough spiritual background and wisdom, because if not i couldnt imagine how much harder it would have been on me. The minute you step off the plane into that nation you can feel the spiritual warfare. When you walk around the street, its there. Certain people you see on the streets there, through out the day, you sense their battles inside.

The spiritual stuff that you sense there, weighs so much on you spiritually, emotionally and physically. So yes i was home sick, but i knew in my heart that it was more than that. The few times i did talk to my mom that first week, I would break down in tears. She was always so encouraging. So was everyone there.

After a few days, I figured i would’ve been acclimated by then. I was praying. I was spending more time in His Word. Everyone there was praying for me and with me. This thing “homesickness” wouldn’t break. That’s when i was able to discern it was more than that. I knew a good amount of stuff about spiritual warfare. Up until this time I don’t believe i had ever experienced it that strongly or for that long.

It had to have been at least four maybe five days into my first week there, when i discerned it as spiritual warfare. By then i was so frustrated with it. I remember laying in bed that night knowing that I no longer was going to consider my self homesick. I was no longer going to let this thing ruin my time, when in the reality of Christ it had no business whatsoever to even think about coming near me.

The past few days before that night I had been going to bed early before everyone els so i could have my own time to pray before falling asleep.

That night i had done the same. All the interns were next door in the living room and i was laying in my bed. The Lord did something in me at that moment. I can’t explain it well. It was as if He had given me a fresh new download of energy, boldness, courage, ambition, ect. You name it, i had it.

In the middle or praying and reading my Bible. This righteous anger built up in my heart. I really had no clue what to do with it, but i went with my instinct. I sat up on my bed and basically had a talk with the devil himself. That day i had discerned that I wasn’t necessarily homesick but that he was doing all he could to hold me back. Now was my opportunity to hold him back and make him hear what he had been hoping I would have never had the courage to say.

In a BIG nutshell.. I basically told him that; the lord had opened my eyes to your attempts at holding me back. He has remanded faithful as I was faithless. He’s revealed His plans for me this summer. He’s shown me why I’m here. My God is much bigger than you will ever be or even wish to be.

With all the authority that was given to me by my Jesus I declared that he would have no say-so in how my summer would go. That he was not to come near me spiritually or physically at all while i was there. I said much more. This is more so the rated G version of our talk. (The actual talk was only PG, I’m just trying to be respectful..lol) Or should I say my talk. He has to silently bow to the authority of Christ that was handed over to me. He was bowing silently for a while.. Lol

I had the idea of doing him a favor also.. I praised God in front of him. I read him the Word, and i prayed out loud. I was praying against him, as i made him sit there and listen. The best part is i was walking in that authority the whole time which meant he was wanting to leave more than i was wanting him to.

As that feeling of spiritual warfare broke, i felt it lift away. I slept great that night! Haha I learned so much from that experience.

Not to say that there weren’t times through my four weeks there that i didn’t miss my mom or didn’t miss my safe comfy life. But knowing stronger than ever that i had Christ’s authority in me, that I could make any bad feeling leave, was freeing.

Every morning I continued to wake up early so i could have my own time outside with God. I read the Word and listened to worship music the whole time.

There was one song specifically that always grabbed my attention. I had a random playlist on my iPod that I’d play as i read my Bible. This one song seemed to always play at least once if not more each and every morning. The words of this song grabbed at my heart. Each time i heard it I would have this thought of; “Wow, this is why i am here.”

The lyrics were perfect. The timing was perfect. And Gods still small voice was perfectly speaking.

Each time I played it, it came alive more and more. It was awakening something, that’s for sure. There were many mornings I would end up only listening to this one song. On repeat. Over, and over, and over again! I couldn’t help it. I had no clue what i needed but yet at the same time this song was somehow exactly it.

The words would play over and over on the screen of my mind. I would see things or people while we were out doing ministry that reminded me of certain lyrics in the song. There were times while we were at the orphanage, that I’d be holding a child in my arms and with one smile from that kid the Lord would remind me of that song. It became my theme song for that summer.

“He’s awakening the hope in me
By calling forth my destiny
He’s breathing life into my soul
I will thirst for Him, and Him alone

He has come like the rain
That showers on the barren plain
So my heart and tongue confess
Jesus Christ, the Hope of man

My hope is in You, God
I am steadfast, I will not be moved
I’m anchored, never shaken
All my hope is in You”

These were the words that took captive my mind and my heart all summer. They would run across my mind. The melody would play over in my head. It was as if someone was walking with me every step and playing it on the guitar. I heard it every where i went. Instead of passing it off as a coincidence.. I knew, that I knew, that i knew, that still small voice was speaking. With each word that spilt forth from His mouth, more and more grace was released over me. Each time I was reminded of that song I was enabled by grace to do all that i was called to do for the Lord while I was serving in that nation. God is the Hope of the nations.

“Call to Me, and I will answer you, and show you great and mighty things, which you do not know.” Jeremiah 33:3

“He did not waver at the promise of God through unbelief, but was strengthened in faith, giving glory to God, and being fully convinced that what He had promised He was also able to perform. And therefore “it was accounted to him for brighteousness.” Romans 4:20-22 NKJV

“He’s bringing hope to the hopeless
And giving His heart to the broken
And sharing His home with the orphan
He is the joy, He is my joy

He is the hope of the nations
The Father’s heart we’re embracing
He is the song we’re declaring
He is the joy, He is my joy”
Hope’s Anthem, William Matthews

Love,
Sarah

HOPE (מקווה)
“The joyful expectation for good, from God”

(Noun)
1. The feeling that what is wanted can be had or that events will turn out for the best: to give up hope.
2. A particular instance of this feeling: the hope of winning.
3. Grounds for this feeling in a particular instance: There is little or no hope of his recovery.
4. A person or thing in which expectations are centered: The medicine was her last hope.
5. Something that is hoped for: Her forgiveness is my constant hope.

(Verb)
8. To feel that something desired may happen: We hope for an early spring.
9. Archaic . to place trust; rely.
10. Hope against hope, to continue to hope, although the outlook does not warrant it: We are hoping against hope for a change in her condition.

11. A feeling of desire for something and confidence in the possibility of its fulfilment: his hope for peace was justified ; their hopes were dashed
12. A reasonable ground for this feeling: there is still hope
13. A person or thing that gives cause for hope

This is Danny my God child. He was my reason for being there. He was that reason, the one i was asking the Lord to make as clear as possible. This boy means so much to me! I feel so blessed and honored to be apart of his life! I love him!!!